Reverse Psychology
by hiddenmermaid
Summary: Thank Merlin for Marlene's psychologist mum. Written in Marlene's point of view. One-shot, with some hints of future Marlene/Sirius.


**This is written in Marlene's point of view NOT Lily's! And also, a better summary for it is that Lily's friends - Marlene, Emmeline, Mary and Alice - collaborate with James and Sirius to get Lily and James together. Read and review, please! 3**

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><p>"So, that makes sense, right?" I ask everyone quickly, before Lily gets here. We have to know the plan cold before we can put it into action, obviously.<p>

"Yes, yes, Marlene, we know the plan," replies Emmeline, looking annoyed. Everything annoys Emmeline these days, the girl's in desperate need of a cheering charm.

Lily steps into the common room, and Alice quickly blurts out, "I _hate _him!"

"I know, me too," agrees Mary. "He's such a complete prat!"

Right on cue, as though she knows the plan, Lily asks, "Who do you hate, Alice?"

"James Potter!" she squeals, looking as though she'll burst into tears. Damn, I had no idea she had such good acting skills. She must be an excellent liar - how many times has she lied to _me_ before? Oh my goodness!

"Why?" asks Lily, looking concerned.

Ha. She's totally falling for it, little miss absolutely-unprankable. Is that a mean thing to say when I'm her best friend? Whatever. This is all for her benefit.

"We've finally realized," says Emmeline, "you were right, Lily. Everything you've ever said about him – it's all true!"

"_What_?" Lily demands.

"You know, how he's arrogant, and conceited and a complete jerk to everyone but his mates," Emmeline continues, sounding just like Lily when she's mad at Potter.

Oh, no. EVERYONE is a really good actress here! They've all been lying to me like crazy, haven't they? I won't be able to trust them anymore, these deceitful little witches!

"I was … I was just kidding," Lily says weakly.

"No, no, Lils, it's okay. Don't feel bad," Alice soothes. "We've seen the light, is all. There is nothing good at _all_ about James Potter."

"What? No!" Lily gasps. "There's lots of good stuff! He's smart and funny and sweet … and _ tall_ ..." She looks at me. "Isn't he an excellent Quidditch player, Marlene?"

I pretend she hasn't said anything and look off into the distance, humming the Hogwarts song. Hell yes, he's an amazing Quidditch player, but I can't say that because it's not part of the plan. And anyway, Sirius as Keeper is loads better.

"Marlene!" Lily cries, shocked, and then turns back to Alice. "C'mon, you can't all just suddenly hate him like that."

"Why not?" demands Mary. "_You_ did."

Lily turns red. "That's different," she protests.

"How is it different?" Emmeline asks pointedly. "You have a right to hate whoever you want, so do we."

"But, but ..." she splutters, and I feel a little bad for making my best friend so frustrated. But this is all for her benefit in the long run – unless of course Lily and Potter break up, but that's not going to happen because they love each other so much and they can't because I am going to be the bridesmaid at their wedding, Alice and I have planned it all out already – so I let it happen.

Lily has turned back to Alice. "That's like the rest of us hating Frank because you're mad at him for something really small," she says finally, coming up with a rather poor simile (a poor simile for Lily Evans, anyway).

But there's something in that the rest of us can use to our advantage and Emmeline pounces on it. "Why are you bringing Frank into this?" she asks innocently. "You don't think of James the way Alice thinks of Frank, now do you?"

I didn't think it was possible, but Lily turns an even deeper shade of scarlet than before. "No!" she says furiously, but it sounds more like Lily's fake fury – a girl can only get so angry so often, you know, so Lily has this fake fury voice that still scares most people but not me because I'm her best friend and so I just know when it's real and when it's not – than her real one.

"Mmhmm," I murmur disbelievingly. "If that's true, than why are you trying so hard to defend him?"

"We all thought you'd be happy that we all agree with you now," adds Mary. "Especially since we were always on your case about it before."

Emmeline, Alice, and I nod our agreements.

"Okay, fine," says Lily, slumping down the couch beside Alice. "Maybe I don't actually hate him."

"So then why would you say that?" Emmeline asks, even though this is not news to us. Lily is not as great an actress Alice and Emmeline and Mary and I am (which is a relief, at least I can tell when _she's_ lying to me).

Lily shrugs. "So he doesn't know I fancy him."

"If you fancy him, and he fancies you," Mary says, making ridiculous hand motions, "I'm not seeing any conflict here."

Of course, James Potter chooses _now_ to jump out from behind the couch, even though I said to come out WHEN I GAVE HIM THE CUE, and says, "Yeah, Evans. I agree with Mary."

"Get your fat head back under that couch!" I yell at him. "You are ruining the plan!"

Then Sirius sticks his head out from under the couch, smirks at me, and says, "I think you just ruined the plan there, Marley."

"DO NOT CALL ME MARLEY, YOU CRETIN!" I shout, on a rampage. "AND HOW, EXACTLY, DID _I_ RUIN THE PLAN?"

Lily jumps up off the couch and cries indignantly, "You set me up!"

I quiet down. "I see how I ruined the plan," I say, slightly embarrassed. Emmeline, Alice and Mary look as though they are dying of silent laughter.

Lily picks up one of the couch pillows and throws it at me. I let it hit me in the face, though I could have easily deflected it with my awesomeness, because Lily does not throw pillows when she is really mad at you. She hexes you.

Sirius crawls out from under the couch and asks, "What's a cretin?"

"Imbecile," I mutter.

He looks at Potter. "And what is that?"

"Marlene's been spending way too much time with me," Lily says, rolling her eyes. "Those are Muggle insults."

"I thought they sounded weird," comments Sirius. He's still on the floor, so Lily kicks him – not too lightly, I notice – in the head with her foot.

That is why we're best friends.

"You didn't answer my question, Evans," Potter says seriously, as we all ignore Sirius, who's howling about how much pain he's in and something about Lily being a poisonous frog. "If you fancy me, why won't you go out with me?"

This is something I actually want to hear, so I drop a couch pillow on Sirius' head and sit on him to shut him up. Unfortunately, I can still hear his muffled complaints through the pillow. He is so annoyingly adorable.

Lily is watching my antics with amusement, but also probably using it as a distraction so as to not answer Potter. I cross my arms over my chest and say, "Go on, then, Lily."

"I don't have to share my reasons for doing anything with you if I don't want to," she says stubbornly. I swear, if this girl hadn't been a witch, she could be one of those Muggle things … lawyers, I think. The ones who are paid to argue stuff.

"Yeah, you kind of do," says Potter. He's just as stubborn as Lily. When they're married, I'm not really sure how they're going to make decisions, but that's not really my problem. As long as I'm a bridesmaid at the wedding.

Lily rolls her eyes, then leans over and whispers something in Potter's ear. Alice shrieks in outrage that she doesn't get to hear the reason, and Emmeline says furiously, "After everything we did to get this to happen, Lily, really? Marlene made us _practice _this!"

"I wanted to make sure everything went perfectly," I snap defensively. Sirius says something I can't quite hear through the pillow, but I'm sure it's not very nice. Or has the word Marley in it. For good measure, I whack him with my arm.

"That's the stupidest reason I've ever heard," says Potter in response to whatever Lily said in his ear.

"Shut up," Lily snaps. "How could I have known it wouldn't happen?"

"You could have gone out with me," Potter points out.

"Is that an invitation to?" Lily asks mischeviously.

"_Finally_," Emmeline mouths to me, Alice, and Mary, and we nod in silent agreement.

"Seriously?" demands Potter. "Then yes, definitely."

Lily laughs. "Okay, I'll go on a date with you."

Potter does not do a backflip like I was hoping he would, but plays it cool and says, "Alright then. Next Hogsmeade weekend." Then he turns to me and says, "Get off Sirius, would you, Marlene? The rest of us abuse him enough, don't worry."

I – pretty graciously, in my opinion – get off Sirius, who gives me a death glare and then blows me a kiss as he leaves with Potter.

"I hate him," I glower.

"Careful, Marlene," Lily replies cheekily, "or we'll have to use reverse psychology on you."

Mary's jaw drops. "How'd you know that's what we were doing?"

"I realized it was reverse psychology after I realized you all set me up," Lily says logically, "and if it was Marlene's idea, she must have gotten it from her mum, right?"

I blush. My mum is a psychologist, which only Lily remembered, of course. Everyone else actually thought I came up with the idea using my (almost non-existent) genius.

"Busted," teases Emmeline.

I stick my tongue out at her, in a mature, adult-like manner. I don't care if _they _know, as long as Sirius thinks I'm some mad genius. Which he should, because I got Lily Evans and James Potter together in less than hour, which is especially impressive considering it was taking _them_ more than seven years.

Marlene McKinnon – like a boss.

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><p><strong>Sorry, I just really like saying "Like a boss" (my friend got me obsessed with it, it's one of my favorite phrases). Loved it? Hated it? Constructive criticism? Anything is appreciated!<strong>


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